3 lbs. I lost 3 blinkin’ lbs. I almost fell off the scales. After 10 days of eating, a bit of rule bending and lots of swimming I thought I’d be headed in the opposite direction. I still can’t get over it.
And there was more good news. Not only is one of the ladies from my original foundation group now in this group (post wedding and honeymoon and looking gorgeous) but, because of my inability to eat more than two packs a day, I’m now on the food choices from week 3. Yeah, so it’s only four days earlier than it would’ve been, but it matters! As I type I’m eating my first apple in over five months, and pretty damn good it is too. My counsellor warned me that the sugars in fruit can make you hungry soon after eating them, so there’s a peanut bar on my desk on standby … just in case!
Tomorrow I’m going to my old secondary school. They’re having a special celebratory summer party because the school has merged with another and will effectively cease to exist (it’s Croham Hurst School in Croydon, if anyone knows it). I’m going with my two best friends from school (the two Caths), one of whom I’ve not seen for at least five years. More to the point, I’ve not been back to the school since I left it eighteen years ago. Had this event happened last summer then I would’ve been stressing about what she, or anyone else who remembers me, might think about my weight. It makes such a difference that I can now face absolutely anyone and any situation without that terrible self-consciousness and feeling of awkwardness. It’s impossible to underestimate the difference that such an adjustment in self-esteem makes to occasions like this one. As it is I’m really looking forward to going for a pleasant trip down memory lane. I commented to one of the Caths that it would be weird getting the train to South Croydon station just as I did when I was at school. She asked whether I’d be walking up the back alley from the station to the school to have a sneaky fag and meet boys. Strangely enough I said no.
After my sojourn in Surrey I’ll be racing in the opposite direction to a friend’s birthday barbecue in North London. As I’ve said before, I find barbecues quite hard. My plan, therefore, is to studiously avoid food and drink at the summer fair (with my trusty food bar in my handbag) and allow myself some barbecued chicken in the evening. I’ll also be there with my friend who I fainted on top of in the pub last week, and I have a sneaky feeling that she will get very uptight with me if I don’t eat any food. So chicken on Saturday night it is!
I also have a leaving party tonight, in my friend’s cocktail bar. I intend to allow myself one cocktail (a dry Manhattan, of course) and then stick to the water. Otherwise I will inevitably find myself following the Boy into some late night takeaway hellhole if booze gets the better of me. And, besides, I’ve promised myself a swim tomorrow morning before I head to sunny Croydon and swimming on a hangover is bloody horrible.
I’m waffling now so I’m going to sod off. Here’s to a lovely sunny weekend for all of us! 🙂