The Incredible Shrinking Woman

Days 136 & 137 – Enjoying Feeling Normal 27 June 2008

Friday at last … yeehah!  And after the week I’ve had, I think I’ve earned this weekend.  As I mentioned I had a very important meeting yesterday and, despite some last minute dramas, it went really well.  I faced my first challenge of a lunch with the client … although I was armed with a bar in my bag I was determined to eat lunch with them.  I was in luck … chicken breast and rocket salad.  I avoided the couscous, and bread, and potatoes, and cheese and biscuits and felt very pleased with myself.  I also, importantly, felt like I had taken one more step towards normality.  Being the weirdo with the strange food can be a bit alienating and lonely at times, so it’s fantastic that I don’t need to feel like that anymore.  I’m really looking forward to getting to two meals a day so I can stop eating packs in the office, too.  That day will make me very happy indeed.

In keeping with my regime I went for a swim last night and did 30 minutes.  Having counted laps I estimate that I swam about 900m … I’ve no idea if that’s any good or not, but I felt really energised when I’d finished.  I’m also enjoying the feeling of not being embarrassed about wandering round in swimwear and trying to hide under my towel.  Again, I feel like a normal person … I didn’t realise how much I’d missed that as it’s been a bloody long time.

I broke the rules a bit too, mind you, and had three glasses of wine in the pub.  I was trying not to think ‘well, you’ve earned these after this week’ because that skates dangerously close to me ‘rewarding’ myself with food/drink.  My counsellor would have some strong words on that topic!  But the upshot is that I got absurdly drunk (on three glasses … unthinkable six months ago) and now feel thoroughly poisoned, with only myself to blame.  I’m trying to rationalise this rule break by reminding myself that I need to stop thinking about my behaviour in terms of a diet, or a regime, and actually begin to sensibly manage my lifestyle.  Drinking alcohol will clearly be a part of that … so I don’t feel too guilty.  Well, maybe a bit.

I’m having lunch with my boss today and we’re going for sushi.  So it will be sashimi for me, and I can’t wait.  I think sushi might be my favourite food in the world, ever.  God it feels good to be back in the real world 🙂


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