The Incredible Shrinking Woman

Day Fifty Six – Shock Update 7 April 2008

I wasn’t going to update this again today, but I went to my group this evening and, miraculously, another 8lbs are gone.  That’s 17lbs over the last three weeks.  I’m trying not to get too excited, because they’ve told us that the weight loss will slow down a bit … but after 8 weeks to still be dropping it at that speed is incredible.  I’m genuinely staggered (I wonder how often I’ll say that in this blog?).

It was fantastic to see the other women, too, as it’s been three weeks since I’ve been there.  I walked in behind one of them and simply didn’t recognise her, in her summery skirt with her new svelte figure.  I’m extremely proud of all of us.  We’re all in this for different reasons, with our own objectives, but it’s fantastic that we have this shared achievement between us.  We should all pat ourselves firmly on our (narrower) backs.

I had an email from a friend in the States today saying she’s been reading this blog regularly (which is very sweet of her).  She said she was really pleased with my progress, but hadn’t realised that I wasn’t as happy as I’ve always seemed.  I really appreciate the sentiment, but was a bit thrown by it, and it’s got me thinking.  I wouldn’t say that I’ve ever seen myself as unhappy but, as you’ll know from earlier posts, I’ve become really aware of how self-damning I’ve been since I can remember.  It’s quite insidious how low self-esteem creeps up on you … I guess that now I finally understand the crucial difference between confidence and self-esteem.  I’ve always had the confidence to do pretty much anything that I’ve wanted to do, but there’s a vein of self-hatred that has always run through the middle of me and I’ve just not been aware of it.  Well, I can safely say that any unhappiness, or disappointment, or general dislike of myself has been obliterated once and for all.  I’m a truly happy bunny!  And, on that note, I’m going to bed 🙂

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