The Incredible Shrinking Woman

Day Thirty Six – Banoffee Pie Nightmares 18 March 2008

So this is the beginning of week 6!  Time really does fly.  I went to the group last night and I’ve shifted another 3 lbs, bringing the total to 2 stone 1lb (around 13 kilos) so far.  And what a difference it has made … although I was a little disappointed not to lose the crucial 4 lbs, I have to look at this overall and remember that 1 lb isn’t much in the grand scheme of things.  I’m still on track for the summer.

I had a great weekend.  I went to a party on Saturday night that was largely populated with glamorous and cool people that I barely know (I seem to be doing a lot of this, socialising with strangers).  Normally I would’ve felt awkward … it’s hard to describe the disorientating feeling of being bigger than other people, of taking up too much space, in a very Gulliver-esque kind of way … but I didn’t.  Of course I wasn’t in the same league as the skinny-jeans-and-corsets (seriously!) brigade, but I felt completely comfortable.  I even wore a top that I’d dug out of my wardrobe where it had been suffering from years of non-use, and it looked great.  I also made it to gone 1am before throwing in the towel when everyone around me was so drunk or wired that they’d stopped making sense – you can only hear the same stories three times in descending degrees of coherence before you have to call it a night!

Sunday meant lunch round at one of my oldest friend’s houses.  As I got out of the car, she was outside the house.  She told me that her first reaction was that her neighbours must also be having guests because she didn’t recognise me.  That’s the kind of comment I need! 🙂  So once again I sat through communal dining with a soup for company.  All was going swimmingly until one of the other guests produced a home made banoffee pie.  Now, I don’t have a sweet tooth, but by god I have a weakness for banoffee pie.  And, to make matters worse, he’d made the base with ginger biscuits.  I love ginger biscuits almost as much as life itself.  I could’ve cried.  It took a bucket of willpower not to have ‘just one little bit’, but I resisted.  I kept envisaging myself lying on a sun lounger in August … that did the trick!  It doesn’t alter the fact that I can still picture the pie now …

I’m off on holiday tomorrow and braced for an abstinent week.  Frankly I would’ve struggled with this a few weeks ago, but there’s a momentum behind me that is willing me to stick at this.  My feeling now is very much ‘I’ve started so I’ll finish’ … not least because I can’t contemplate the sheer horror of going through all of this again.  It doesn’t bear thinking about.  And the good thing is that my next session in a fortnight means that I’m at the 7 week marker, halfway through the initially unfathomable 100 days.

As part of my packing for the holiday I cleared out my wardrobe last night.  I literally threw out half of my clothes … the ones that are now too big, the ones I’ve always hated but kept ‘because they look OK’ and the ones I hope to be too small for by the time the weather is better.  I now have two hip-high piles of clothes in the spare room awaiting a trip to the charity shop.  I can’t tell you how good that feels.  Roll on my first trip to Top Shop!

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