The Incredible Shrinking Woman

Day Ten – Vanity, Vanity, Vanity 21 February 2008

I can’t stop looking at myself.  This is unusual for a veteran mirror and camera dodger.  I noticed when I got into the lift at work that I looked different.  My face is thinner, my cheekbones are reappearing … OK, I’m not in the Kate Moss league just yet, but I look better than I have in years.  Someone told me that weight goes off your back quite quickly and, when I look at myself square on, my shoulders look more narrow.  I know that sounds weird, but it’s true.  My pudgy arms are literally closer to my sides!  Yeah, I know this isn’t rocket science but I thought I’d have to wait forever to see any difference.  This and the fact that my jeans are getting loose is even more of an incentive.  And, trust me, I needed that incentive when I tried a toffee bar this afternoon.  Imagine some stale fudge with all the sugar removed and replaced with salt.  I almost hurled, it was so disgusting.  My colleague said it smelled and tasted like beef stock, and she wasn’t far wrong.

I’ve developed a terrible scales habit.  Despite being well aware of this fact, my weight seems to go up and down by the hour and I need to stop sneaking on to the scales every time I’m in the bathroom.  Crashing misery when it goes up by a fraction of a kilo isn’t compensated for by the cheering dips, I can tell you.  Maybe I’ll lock the bloody things in the cellar.

And god I’d probably sell my soul for a glass of red wine … or four …


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